Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Just like Mom!

I think I can hear bouts of laughter roaring...anything athletic definitely comes from Dad!!

My boys can run...boy, can they run! Derek has just blown away any times he had last year...he's doing so well and we are so proud of him. It just amazes me how hard work has paid off for him. All summer long, he was pounding the pavement with those running shoes, mile after mile.

And Connor, each meet his personal record changes--he one ups himself each and every race. He, too, is having an excellent year.

Resting after watching...

Thursday, September 17, 2009


Our mountain...that is! As I shared a couple of weeks ago, we are going through some really tough stuff with Selah, really tough. Again, I don't want to embarrass her or have anyone think she's a horrible child. She is not. Curtis compares her to a robot--she will go where you ask her, do what you ask her to do, completely submissive and sweet UNTIL she's by herself. She can turn herself on and off , seemingly feeling nothing...just blank. It's in those times alone, whether it's 30 seconds or an hour, that she shows really disturbing behavior. Now that we know, we cannot allow her to be alone, which is tough. It's tough on us as parents, it's tough on Selah, and it's tough on the other kids, who are completely innocent, not asking for the chaos that has wreaked havoc on our home. As we have tried everything we know to try, we are throwing our hands up (finally) and just asking God to move this mountain--we cannot. Can our faith be the size of a mustard seed, real faith? That's what we are now working on--ourselves. We have prayed all along that God would just give us the wisdom to parent this child, now we are taking it a step further and asking Him that He would penetrate her heart so deeply that she will feel, that she will take ownership of her behaviors, of her feelings, of her past, her emotions, her decisions and that He will change her.

I'm not a mountain climber, but one time, many years ago, as a child I climbed a mountain. Well, most of us wouldn't consider it a mountain, but it has "mount" in it's name, so I'm going with it. Mount Baldy in the Black Hills of South Dakota. I was 9 years old and went to a church camp with friends of our family. What I remember is this...all I could see was the path in front of me--I couldn't see the top of the mountain, in no way could I see the other side. We climbed and climbed and climbed...and at 9 years old, I was exhausted, really ready to turn back, but we kept on moving up. When we made it to the top, we could see such beauty...God's marvelous creation below us with the hot sun basking on us.

Right now we are climbing up the mountain...all I'm seeing is what's right in front of my face. We are completely exhausted, ready to turn back, yet knowing if we keep trudging through, we will make it to the top and it will be glorious. As we are enjoying Derek home for one more year--our time seems to be flying by...this added stress to our family is just breaking my heart. We are just telling that mountain to MOVE IT! I don't want to climb anymore, I want off of the path, and I want the mountain gone. I know we are not able to "fix" Selah, nor is that our job, as a friend so kindly pointed out--we are just loving her the best we know how. We do, however, need to keep the rest of our family safe and healthy, so the behavior needs to change. We are unable to fix a heart...yet the same God that has been working on Gracie's literally broken heart is completely able to fix Selah's broken heart...we are placing our faith in the One who created this being and placed her in our arms and in our home. We trust HIM!

Matthew 17:20 He (Jesus) replied , "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

I believe His Word as truth and am claiming His power over Selah's life!

Continually in His grip,


OK...I googled Mount Baldy and it's actually Old Baldy, which really isn't that impressive, but hey, for a 9 year-old, it was Everest!

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

mayo todayo

Gracie and headed north this morning to meet with her cardiologist. We both had a tough time getting out of bed, but around 9:30 I finally opened her door and grabbed the snuggly bundle. She's been sleeping LOTS! Especially after her weekend--it was one BIG PARTY--football game on Friday night, Big Daddy Weave downtown Charles City Saturday night, and our church's Friend Fest on Sunday--she was pooped! Actually she's been sleeping in most mornings until 9:30-10:00 after going to bed at 7 or so. Sleeping beauty! This does concern us a bit, because she has never been one to require much sleep. I was excited to meet with her doctor and hear the words "She's doing great." I did hear those words today! Gracie, right now, is doing great. Her numbers are fantastic, her weight is up, she's grown an inch--all good stuff. She's pretty blue, but it's expected, the fatigue is normal for her. Her heart has to work so hard...her body just knows when to rest--it's good.

We spoke of Gracie's future today. She will likely have surgery in December or January and it will be a big one, actually it's quite controversial amongst her doctors as to whether this is the best plan of action for her. She could do fine for awhile with no surgery, but it could wear her ventricle out, giving her a short life. The Fontan is an incredible operation for many, many heart babies, but it's not a great option for Gracie, yet likely the best option we have right now. She has many strikes against her. Her cardiologist told me they have a "10 commandments" for the Fontan and her heart and history are not meeting most of the law, so to speak. It could be a rocky road...we know that when life is crazy, is uncertain God is still the ROCK--He's still the same, Gracie's days are still numbered, and He will take her home when He is ready. We hold onto these truths with a tight grip, knowing we are in His mighty grip! I visited with my friend Chris on the way home and told her I have perfect peace--I do, knowing He is real, He is good, and His love for Gracie is uncomparable.

Back to sweet Gracie...she had a blood draw this morning and was so amazing. Usually it takes several pokes and lots of messing around, bringing much anxiety and tears. Today, she walked into the blood draw confidently, hands on her hips and pacifier in her mouth. She hopped on my lap, grabbed the turnacut and wrapped it around her arm, watching intently as the sweet lady stuck a needle in her arm. She made a little peep, then pointed to the toy box, claiming her prize of bubbles. They spilled before we made it out the door...bummer! We had a fabulous time at lunch, then shopped a bit downtown. Soon, you will see her sporting her new Crocs, with--you'll never believe it--Bob and Larry buttons!

We go back on Thursday to meet with the oral surgeon to schedule her tooth removal, then we don't go back until November 9.

Right now, things are good...super good!
I choose to live right now...how about you?