feet and knees

Just a little update on Gracie. We have spent a large portion of our week at the Mayo Clinic once again to try to figure out Gracie's foot pain. In my not-doctor mind, I was thinking the surgery might take care of the foot pain as well, yet the doctors are convinced the foot pain is it's own issue. Foot and leg pain can often be an indicator of something bigger...no matter--we just need to find out how to alleviate the pain.

So on Wednesday, we headed north. Gracie and I met with a pedicatric rheumatologist. Her symptoms do, somewhat, align themselves with rheumatoid arthritis. Before making a diagnosis and starting a treatment plan other possibilities need to be weeded out. This past week she had intensive xrays and a complete bone scan. Yesterday we went for the bone scan--they had to place an IV, which is so scary for Gracie. She screamed and screamed...miserable, scared, just sick of the pokes. They called in pediatric specialists...by then, Gracie and I were both a mess. This is the most difficult things about parenting Gracie--watching her suffer. She's up at nights lots with horrible foot pain...and now knee pain. Then the many pokes. She walks into any medical office and declares, "no pokes, no owies, dus dawk, k?" (just talk) She so, so anxious about needles...and I don't blame her. They poke, and poke, and poke. She has no idea, nor can she conceive the idea that the pokes are for her benefit. I want to be her rescuer when this is happening, but instead I'm the one holding her down. It just stinks.

Yesterday, however, when the pokes were done, when the bone scan was complete, the technician allowed Gracie to perform an MRI on her Woody doll, who is actually her Nino doll, which actually is Derek...clear as mud? Anyways she strapped him to the table, pushed the buttons to slide him through the tunnel, closing the top really close to his little round nose. Then she told him...sweetly, yet firmly..."no wiggle woes, Nino." She held onto his head and his hand and put her face really close to his. Then she pushed the button to slide him on out. When the machine stopped, she gently picked him up, sat on the stool, and rocked him, kissing his little brown hat, and telling him that she loved him. That's what mommies do!

We are very uncertain about Gracie's future...what it's going to look like, how long it's going to be...yet we are convinced and KNOW THAT WE KNOW THAT WE KNOW Who is holding onto her future. When we are dealing with the tears...hers and ours...we know that in a moment there will be joy, there will be smiles, there will be laughter, for we know, without a doubt He is holding onto us.

Besides the foot and knee pain, Gracie is doing really well. She feels terrific, she has a lot of energy, she's talking up a storm.

Better run...off to dye some eggs!
Gayle