days like this...

It's been a long one, that's for sure! We woke up to Gracie's crib full of a foul-smelling, nasty looking vomit haven. Oh my. We've had a rough day--Gracie has been super blue, completely clingy, wimpery, crabby. Oh wait...maybe it's me who has been wimpery and crabby...nope, it's both of us. She's not feeling well at all. We are so hoping it's a virus, but even so, it's not good for her little body. I need to call the doctor in the morning and see what's going on. To be perfectly honest, I'm finding myself in a bit of denial here--I don't want my baby sick!!!

I keep typing, I keep deleting tonight. My mind is full, my heart is breaking...when Gracie is sick, we are always confronting the what ifs. I'm scared to bring her to the doctor for fear she will have to stay in the hospital, meaning I can't go to the track meet tomorrow, and Connor's birthday is coming up on Saturday...I love his birthday! I love making his day so special--Gracie can't get sick for that--it's inconvenient, isn't it? My mind is spinning...I know, in my heart, with everything I claim and everything I believe that God is orchestrating everything and He is working out all things for good. He promises me that--I can rest in that. Tonight at Bible study, Beth Moore talks of thanking Him for what He's going to do...my mind, of course, is drawn to Gracie tonight--I'm praising Him for His miracles in her life so far, I'm praising Him for what He's going to do...then I walk in the door and check on Gracie. She again is lying in her own vomit...NOT NOW! My heart knows, my heart believes, my heart trusts...yet I can't wrap my mind around all of this. I'm tired.

Tomorrow morning I will call Gracie's cardiologist. My guess is he'll want me to bring her to our local doctor and have some bloodwork done. Of course, that's only a guess and I'm wrong many, many times. Perhaps she'll wake up feeling better and it is just a virus running its course--we'll see. She really hasn't been this blue for quite some time--it's comparable to November and December before her last surgery, so I think her heart is stressed out somewhat.

This morning as I was checking my emails, and OK, I'll admit it, Facebooking a bit, Gracie was hammering on the keyboard on my lap. She wanted down and lied across my feet on the floor. Within seconds she was snoozing so sweetly. The rest of the day we snuggled. That is the only benefit to Gracie's day--she snuggled with me all day. Curtis came home for lunch...I hadn't done one thing (well, the endless laundry, but that doesn't count), he came home after work, my story was the same--I snuggled all day in my pjs and she in hers. I do cherish the sweet breath on my neck, the fingers on my arms and face. She's very much 2 and never sits still, but today...

Psalm 59:16-17 But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble. O my Strength, I sing praise to you; you, O God, are my fortress, my loving God.

Trusting and believing He is doing magnificent things...TODAY!

Gayle

Seriously...I'm the worst blogger ever...I throw in random photos everywhere--Selah lost her first tooth in America--I love Connor in a stocking cap...lots of kisses from Gracie last night...